I’m absolutely in love with a woman named Tabitha Brown. She & her family are social media influencers particularly in the vegan world. This woman brightens my day. I align deeply with her and I just can’t get enough. She always signs off of her live videos with “have yourself a great day, but if you can’t, don’t go messin’ with nobody else’s”.
This makes me think how we react to situations & people. A perfect example was with my husband one Sunday during a bike ride. My sense of direction is deplorable. The fact that I’m not out lost in the world right now proves that miracles exist. I ended up in the lead position & kept asking which direction to go. We were only 2 miles from home and he said “I don’t understand how you don’t know where we are”. He didn’t say it angrily or passive aggressively all. I abhor feeling stupid…when I feel like I am being viewed as stupid, unintelligent, or air-headed it sends me into a tailspin. I instantly snapped. I can’t remember what I said exactly, but I know it was a biting sarcastic remark. Instantly defensive. Looking back at it now, it was not a deserved reaction. He sped up and I slowed down. It gave me a few minutes to think about why I was so angry and how I reacted.
Here’s the thing, I truly believe no one is responsible for my feelings but me. I could’ve responded by saying “when I hear comments like that it makes me feel stupid and I get defensive”. He likely would’ve felt compassionate and apologized. The point is that my insecurities were triggered and my knee-jerk reaction was to hurt that person back. This had nothing to do with my husband. This was 100% me and my insecurities. I wasn’t feeling joyful and I made it a point to steal his joy. Well, that was shitty!!!
This can serve as an example to how we react to situations and people. We are often being triggered by our own thoughts & feelings. It’s likely an insecurity or even fear of losing power that leads to that reaction.
My end goal is to have complete enlightenment and to respond calmly (or maybe not respond at all). I know this is possible because I’ve seen my growth over the past 5 years…it’s exponential. This simply served as a reminder that I still have some work to do.